Have You Ever Wondered
by dark-remedy
Summary: After Raven's birthday, how will she restore the fate of the world as well as her painful past?
1. Bleeding Fire

Have You Ever Wondered? Prt.I

It was after the day of Raven's birthday anniversary. Raven inside the protected household of the Titans Tower, sleeping from the tired day.

"Ughh…" Raven moaned as she woke up from the smell of breakfast coming from the kitchen. It was a strange smell. Pork, chicken, beef, and most importantly tofu. Raven rose up from her circular bed. She reached for her indigo cloak and slowly put on the hood over her purple hair, hiding half of her sullen face. Raven stared at her hands and arms, still scared from the attacks from the night before. Thinking of the worried faces of her team she wore black gloves making sure it hid the crimson marks. Raven sighed and stepped out of her room, squinting at the bright light of the morning daylight. She walked slowly and cautiously to the kitchen, relieved by the company of her friends (but not showing it). Beast Boy was eating his vegetarian breakfast of tofu and other vegetables. Cyborg, on the other hand was filling himself with mounds of red meat and Starfire was trying to feed her pet, Silkie, tamaranian berries but rationing them so the pet will not grow, as it did before. Raven looked around the room searching for Robin.

"Raven…" Raven turned around to see Robin's face. Before he could say anything else, she quickly answered.

"I'm fine, I'm just tired." Robin nodded and sat on the black couch reaching for the remote. Raven swiftly went to the counter of the kitchen, running to refrain herself from being hit by the messy blobs of tofu and meat that might fly. She reached for the hot pot of green tea and poured the warm drink into a cup. She walked to the couch and sat. She held the warm mug of tea and wrapped it around her hands, relieving it from the iciness of her hands. She took a small sip and sighed in content.

"Maybe I should forget about yesterday," Raven thought to herself," It might not come true…Robin was affected by Slade, maybe this is a trick too." Raven thought these positive things to keep her from feeling nervous and losing control of her powers, although she knew this was not a fact. Trying to get her mind off of Slade she set her mug on the wood coffee table beside her and grabbed her leather coated book. She put her fingers into the folded page of the book and presumed her reading.

"The wizard was about to cast a spell but the maiden….." As Raven read to herself she felt a slight burn on her hands. She flinched, but tried to hide her pain by sticking her head far into the book. Robin looked at Raven with a confused look but resumed watching the T.V. Raven sighed in relief knowing Robin turned his head back into the T.V screen. Having her team worried about her was selfish. As Raven urged herself to forget the pain and finish the sentence a loud buzz interrupted and flashing red lights made the room flash with a shining red color. It was a sign of a criminal in the city. The titans ran to the exit but Robin stopped suddenly.

"Wait…this could be Slade!" Raven widened her eyes at the fear of the crazed man.

"What should we do?" Cyborg asked urgently. Robin glared at the floor trying to think of the best tactic.

"Raven, you stay in the Tower." Robin yelled.

"What? Robin, I can take care of myself, plus this might not be Slade at all." Raven shouted back.

"And what if it is? Then it'll just be a replay of what happened yesterday! You want that to happen?" Raven flinched and glanced at her hands feeling the pain running through her veins. It was like a never-ending fire consuming her. Beast Boy, Starfire, and Cyborg looked at Raven trying to figure out what she would say.

"No, I don't. But if the criminal wasn't Slade and if I stay here and Slade comes what do you think would happen? It's better if we stick together!" Robin thought about this and growled in frustration. He pounded his fist on the table creating a loud boom. Starfire flinched at the loud sound and was deeply saddened by his anger.

"Cyborg, Starfire, Beast Boy! Go check out the problem! I'll be there in a second." The team quickly nodded at Robin's orders and rushed out the exit.

"Aren't you going with them?" Raven questioned.

"No."

"What! That's crazy, Robin they need your orders! What are you going to do?"

"Cyborg can be a good leader. He's been wanting to lead for a while, and this is his chance."

"And you? What are you going to do?"

"I'm staying." Raven's eyes widened by his statement.

"What? Okay, maybe Cyborg _can_ lead but that doesn't make you have to stay here with _me_

**_"_**I've made a decision Raven, and you know I don't change my mind easily." Raven sighed and nodded in agreement. She slowly returned to the couch and picked up her mug of green tea. The mug was cold from the long period of time not touched. Raven stood and reached for the warm water. As she walked to the kitchen she felt a surge of pain through her body. She groaned and dropped the cup, making a loud crashing sound. Robin turned his head around to the cause of the loud crash. Raven fell to her knees from the pain coursing through her. It was like lava running through her veins causing her to squirm and scream. Green tea was all over the carpet and was steaming from the fire surrounding her.

Robin ran to Raven and used his cape to block the fire from scorching him. Raven pushed her palms into her temples and screamed. Robin put his hands on her shoulders and shook her.

"Raven! Snap out of it!" Everything's going to be fine!" Robin screamed trying to let his voice run into her mind.

"I can't! It hurts!" Raven managed to say a few words. Robin looked around the room searching for something to make the fire stop. He spotted the faucet and sprayed the water everywhere around the room. The fire quickly died and Raven gasped for air and stared at her hands knowing the crimson sign was the cause of this. Raven sighed thankful that she hid her hands so that no one would see the marks, especially Robin. Robin kneeled next to Raven.

"Are you okay? What was that?" Raven put her hood back on trying to escape from telling Robin what message she received from Slade.

"It's nothing." Raven muttered, her breath slowed down to its normal beat and her hands were free from the burnt feeling.

"What do you mean nothing? That was…"

"Robin….You already know too much about me…I don't want to tell you anymore…Not now at least." Robin nodded and put her arm around his shoulder leading her to the couch.

"I'll get you some tea." Robin said as he poured the calming drink into the mug. He returned to the couch and gave her the cup. She graciously took it and took a long sip of the drink. She set the empty mug down on the table and picked up her book once again.

"I'm going to be reading..." There was a long pause and neither of them spoke.

"I'm going to watch some T'V….Is that okay?" Raven nodded. There was no sound but the soft murmurs of the T.V.

"How long has it been?" Robin asked breaking the awkward silence. "How long has it been since the tower was this quiet?" Raven softly chuckled. There was another pause. Raven was deep into her book and was flipping the pages rapidly wondering what would happen next. Time seemed to move slowly. There was no movement or sound until Raven felt warmth on her hand. It was Robin's hands on hers.

"I noticed ever since this morning. Why are you wearing gloves? And don't tell me it's because it's a new fashion statement." Raven stared at her hand underneath his. She briskly moved her hand and closed her book.

"It's nothing…My hands are just cold and these gloves…." Raven was interrupted by Robin's hand removing the gloves. "Robin, what're you…"

"The signs…from yesterday…..are still on your hands?" Raven pulled her hand away and put the glove back on slowly.

"Yes…."

"Why didn't you tell me? I told you…"

"There's nothing you could've done to stop this…please don't try…it's not worth it…I'm not worth it…"

"Raven, I know you must hate me for asking this but I need to know what happened to you. This is the only times you'll ever get a chance to say it without the rest of the team knowing." Raven, sighed and nodded.

"When I was born…" Raven was interrupted by the opening on the main exit.

"WE'RE BAACK!" Cyborg shouted.

"Who was the criminal?" Robin demanded, annoyed of the intrusion the team made.

"Do not worry Robin it was merely Mad Mod." Starfire said reassuringly. Robin clenched his hand.

"Good." Robin replied. Raven stood up from the couch and picked up her book.

"I'm going to my room."

"Wait a sec. Raven aren't you going to give us a warm welcome from a hard day's work?" Beast Boy asked with a cheery smile.

"No…" Raven stated and walked slowly to her room. The team looked at her with a blank face as she disappeared into her room.


	2. Unexpected Cookies & Tea

Have You Ever Wondered? Prt.II

Raven was on her bed with the gray sheets surrounding her. She was not sleeping but wondering what she would do when Slade would come back. She sighed and dug her face into her pillows. It was only six o' clock and she wished the frustrating day would be over. She lifted her head and decided to meditate.

"Azarath, Meteron, Zinthos……Azarath, Meteron, Zin…" Her meditation was interrupted by a knock on the door. Raven stood in front of the door and slightly opened it. It was surprisingly Beast Boy.

"Beast Boy?" Raven said in a questioning tone of voice.

"Uhhh Yeah….I brought you some herbal tea and cookies."

"Cookies?"

"Robin, Starfire, Cyborg, and I made it. Hoping you would feel better." Raven stared at Beast Boy still surprised from his visit, especially with cookies and tea.

"I'll take the tea… but the cookies… I'll pass"

"C'mon Raven they're shaped like the team!" Raven looked down at the plate and noticed the misshaped faces on the cookies were indeed the teams. Raven took the tea in one hand and took Beast Boy's head shaped cookie and bit it…hard. Beast Boy smiled uneasily. Raven looked down at the plate and also took Robin's cookie.

"I know you want some Beast Boy, it's written all over you. Take the rest. I know you'll enjoy eating Cyborg. Beast Boy was stunned by Raven's "kindness", but he smiled his toothy smile and quickly said thanks while biting on Cyborg's head. Raven looked at Robin's "head" and set it down next to her mug of tea. She sipped the tea and she had a feeling all of this was Robin's idea…..Raven shook her head from the obviously useless statement she said before and began to meditate again. The rain was falling outside and the lightning and thunder were creating a frightening sound. The loud noises kept interrupting her meditation so she stopped and laid down on the bed thinking how to spend her time. Before she knew it she was fast asleep. In her dream was fire and smoke. She saw hooded people surrounding a child. The child had a triangular red emblem and had grey skin resembling hers. Long candles were lit around the infant and strange potions and mixed herbs were put together near the baby. Raven started to remember strange things such as this in her past and she realized this was a memory right when she saw a man and a boy. The man being her father, the man she hated the most and the boy…..seemed unfamiliar. His crystal blue eyes were piercing and terrifying more than her father's red ones. The hooded people surrounding the baby bowed at the graceful steps of the father. He was a Lord in Azarath. And Raven hated every second she was with the man and also being his cursed daughter. Raven screamed remembering the painful things her father did to her as a child.

"Raven! Raven!" Raven moaned and realized that the painful memory was just a dream. Raven felt warm drops of perspiration against her forehead and cheeks. Raven closed her eyes and opened them again and seeing Beast Boy shaking her.

"Beast Boy?" Raven said. "What're you doing in my room?""Uhh…..sorry you were screaming and…."

"Raven!" Raven turned her gaze to the second intruder of her room, it was Robin.

"I heard you scream what happened?"

"It was nothing." Raven quickly put her hood on hiding her face.

"I'm sick and tired of you hearing "it's nothing" I want some answers Raven!" Robin's hands were now on both of her shoulders instead of Beast Boy's. Raven's eyes widened and she shook herself away. Beast Boy's eyes were in a serious face.

"S…Sorry Raven I lost control…" Robin said apologetically. Raven slowly nodded as a sign of understanding. Beast Boy was dumbfounded and was staring at Robin and Raven. Robin turned to Beast Boy and grabbed him by the arm.

"Let's go. I think Raven needs time alone." Beast Boy nodded and turned his head to see Raven's face astounded by what happened. Raven breathed in and out and calmed herself. The rain was pounding harder than ever. Raven stared at the window for a long time. The rythmetic beats of the drops hitting against the window was surprisingly soothing. Slowly sipping tea and staring out the window made the long hours of wait go away. While she was at her last gulp of tea she realized the Robin cookie still on the table. She wrapped it in a mound of tissue and placed it on her table. It was 11 o'clock and she climbed on to her bed resting her head on the cold pillow not knowing Slade was outside her window watching her every move.

"I see….the one you treasure is indeed in the tower…" Slade sneered coldly, "this will be very interesting….have a good night sleep birthday girl…while you can."


End file.
